wtf story

Once upon the rock, the naked man fired shots of vodka into the air. His penis happened to be a snake, of who's mouth the vodka had landed. Once his hell-penis was drunk enough, the man back flipped down off the rock and began his reign of terror over all of the forest creatures.

This story, apparently being news-worthy, hit the TVs before dawn, and soon all the world knew of the collapse of reality. Many, of course, believed the whole thing to be a hoax. However many a hobo danced and sang through the streets, having known that the end was near. Soon the city became a giant hobo spring break party, and many saggy, dirt covered boobs were flashed to... well, nobody wanted to get that on camera.

The police tried to disband the party with tear gas, but hobos were tough people and could handle it. That's when the snake penis man came and bit every one of those officers on the left hand with his still heavily intoxicated penis. Immediately the cops became as drunk as the snake and started partying with the hobos. It wasn't until the men sobered up that they realized that their penises had been turned into all kinds of cuddly animals. Like lizards, hawks, monkeys, and elephants.

All of the women's cops breasts became as saggy and dirty as the hobo women they had tried to gas, and then nobody won.

Finally the military was called in to quarantine the city of which this bizarre phenomenon was taking place. However, as soon as the order was given all of the soldiers turned to zombies. Then needing to be quarantined themselves, there was nobody to quarantine the city and the infection spread to other parts of the world.

Humans started giving birth to dogs, dogs started giving birth to humans. Neither one liked this arrangement, so they tried to trade babies but the babies didn't like it so they rose up in adorable rebellion and killed their respective mothers.

Soon topless hobo women, men with animal penises, zombie soldiers, and babies (including puppies) paraded through the streets.

However, it wasn't long before all of this tomfoolery was disrupted by the Earth collapsing.
The End.

Most Hilarious Music Vidoes

50 Ways to Say Goodbye - Train

Thrift Shop -Macklemore

Party Rock Cantina Band

The Wind -Zac Brown Band

Use a Journal For Self-Discovery and Self-Expression 1

By Garrett Coan – 
 
As a therapist, I often suggest to clients that they explore their feelings and thoughts by keeping a journal. Sometimes clients ask for a bit of direction with this process. Here are some journaling ideas if you’re not sure where to start:

1. Write down what happened today and how you felt about it.

Well, today I discovered that a company I was looking into is also a 1099 position. You pay $20 for leads and that gets you sales or something. I decided I wasn't comfortable with that. I posted about it on help.com but nobody wanted to help, so I was on my own with the decision.

http://www.help.com/post/590804-should-i-just-be-thankful-ross-hire#myLast

I got a job at Ross, and I'm not happy about it. 40 minuet drive to make minimum wage in retail. The only way it gets lower is fast food. I am one step above fast food! How pathetic is that, seriously? I spent 16 months of my life in Job Corps to end up in EXACTLY the same place I started from! I QUIT a retail job to go to Job Corps and where did it get me? Right back to square one. Thanks for nothing, Collbran!

Hi! I'm Tobi. Here are some...

Helpful Resources:

If You Need a Job:

http://www.care.com http://www.craigslist.com http://meyerweb.com/other/humor/interview.html http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2TACss/lifehacker.com/5157794/top-10-tools-for-landing-a-better-job http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2XDqwz/paperpenalia.com/handwriting.html (this one is to help improve hand writing. Something that can help decide if you get hired or not) "He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor." - Paddy O'Dea

If You Hate how Shouts are Public:

https://privnote.com/

College Stuff:

http://www.collegeconfidential.com/

Sleep Trouble:

http://www.well.com/~mick/insomnia/

If You Need to save Money:

http://www.half.com http://amazingfreebiesdelight.yolasite.com/

If You Need a Laugh:

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/4T3J2f/iusedtobelieve.com/ http://www.slightlywarped.com/crapfactory/curiosities/2010/price_tag_fails.htm http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/253wzW/theoatmeal.com/comics/cat_vs_internet http://www.c4vct.com/kym/humor/analog.htm "I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three." --Elayne Boosler

Cute Animals:

http://thedesigninspiration.com/articles/70-cutie-baby-animals-bring-your-a -good-mood/ http://www.desicolours.com/have-you-ever-been-so-tired/14/06/2009 http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2URL2l/operachic.typepad.com/opera_chic/2009/07/mousie-mousie-mousie.html http://www.thingsthatmakeyougoaahh.com/images/224-p4wq.jpg (BABY PANDAS!!) http://www.cuteoverload.com/

Dating and Relationships:

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1SAbx2/9gag.com/gag/3619/ http://www.internetdatingstories.com/ http://www.createblog.com/forums/lofiversion/index.php/t83863.html (for those interested in men) http://www.miacarmel.com/tips-about-relationships/75-lessons-that-must-be-learned-in-relation-2.html http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/AfBXJy/dating.suite101.com/article.cfm/unique_conversation_starters%253Fsms_ss%253Dstumbleupon "Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!" -Homer Simpson

Beauty:

http://www.christinaloves.com/2008/09/13/50-uses-for-vaseline/ http://www.blincinc.com/landing/15things.php

If You Need Inspiration:

http://www.worldofinspiration.com/ http://www.eightprinciples.com/ http://treasuretext.tumblr.com/post/2859447815/i-am-thankful "Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

Helpful Life Tool Thingys:

http://www.43things.com (look up Tobi Uchiha) http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2vP065/www.futureme.org/

Life Advice:

http://www.raptitude.com http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifehack/10-simple-ways-to-save-yourself-from-messing-up-your-life.html/comment-page-5 http://www.bluinc.com/free/human10.htm http://www.32keys.com/ "I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." --Lily Tomlin

Education and School:

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/30zbgn/rinkworks.com/bookaminute/classics.

If You're Bored:

http://www.stumbleupon.com http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2mMRd1/svt.se/hogafflahage/hogafflaHage_site/Kor/hestekor.swf http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2AfR5E/atom.smasher.org/error/ http://www.pagetutor.com/idiot/idiot.html http://www.omegle.com/ http://erkie.github.com/ http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/8l7krX/whathappenedinmybirthyear.com/ http://www.shockwave.com/content/shuffle/sis/shuffle.swf "I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, 'Whoa, I'm way too high!' " --Bruce Baum

Spiritual:

http://www.mysteryplay.org/ http://www.godspeaks.com/intro.asp http://www.meant4more.com/ http://www.iamsecond.com/ "Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil." - Jerry Garcia

If You Need to Recover:

http://www.celebraterecovery.com.au/8principles.php

If You want to Chat with Fellow Help.comers:

http://tinychat/oldhelpchat http://www.jalexinteractive.com/phpfreechat-1.3/index.php

If You're Tired of Email Spam:

http://www.hidemyass.com/anonymous-email/ http://www.guerrillamail.com/ "Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second." --Steven Wright

Cool:

http://fsymbols.com/

If You want to be Smarter:

http://www.cracked.com (Now I know how this site looks, but looks can be deceiving trust me it's ligit, lolz) http://www.mindtools.com/memory.html "Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?" --John Mendoza

Health Advice:

http://www.cholesterol-and-health.com/ http://www.whfoods.com/foodstoc.php http://www.findingbalance.com/ "The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not." - Mark Twain

Misc (but awesome):

http://www.treasuretext.tumblr.com http://www.funzug.com/index.php/fashion-trends/most-beautiful-henna-colours.html http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1QozrH/www.mnn.com/lifestyle/pets-animals/stories/bizarre-sea-slug-is-half-plant-half-animal-0

Important blurb from...

http://www.raptitude.com on this here page http://www.raptitude.com/2011/03/your-questions-answered/

Growing up I remember the saying: happiness is having someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to. Do you agree with this?

No. /ps the conventional approach and I think /ps a recipe for a life of suffering. /ps nothing wrong with those things, and they feel good, but hanging your happiness on them encourages a lifelong preoccupation with reaching and keeping certain ideal circumstances. Eventually your loved one dies or leaves. Eventually you age and cannot do what you once did. Your thing to look forward to might not be what you expected or might never happen.ThereitThat

So that strategy pt sound too wise. But ps pretty close to the normal way people approach life. I think we can do better than that.itdoesn

I have all three of those things all the time whether pm happy or not. Happiness, to me, is being in the present moment without being preoccupied by a craving for some part of that moment to be different. ps all it is. The circumstances pt have to be any particular way if I am able to accept them in real-time without getting wrapped up in how pd like them to be. To be a happy person is to get good at that.IdonThatI

Let's get this party started!

1. We admitted we were powerless over laziness - that our lives had become unmanageable

I am powerless over laziness, my life has become unmanagable.

All right, I did it. So how long am I suppose to stay on step one before moving on to step two? ....hm, well we'll let it stew for a few days and then move on.

Creative Writing Now (.com) Character Challenge

Writing Character Profiles - Questionnaire 1 (Adult Characters)

1. Name:Tom Kat
2. Age: 21
3. General physical description: Orange tabby neko with athletic body type. He is cute and has big, gold cat eyes. He generally wears ripped, washed out jeans, a wife beater and an open button, red plaid shirt.
4. Hometown: New York
5. Type of home/ neighborhood: Apartment
6. Relationship status: In a relationship with Kitten
7. Current family: A mom, dad, and little sister.
8. Family background (parents, previous marriages, etc.):
9. Friends: Depends on the game
10. Other close relationships:
11. Relationship with men: They are his bros
12. Relationship with women: Respectful
13. Job: Ninja
14. Dress style: Lazy, but cute
15. Religion: None
16. Attitude to religion: Generally doesn't think about things like that
17. Favorite pastimes: Catnip, training, and ...........
18. Hobbies:
19. Favorite sports: Agility
20. Favorite foods: Tuna, salmon, fish tacos and chicken pizza.
21. Strongest positive personality trait: Innocent
22. Strongest negative personality trait: Druggy
23. Sense of humor: Very much so
24. Temper: Fun loving
25. Consideration for others: a lot
26. How other people see him/her: Kind of stupid probably, optimistic, annoying, adorable, noble.
27. Opinion of him/herself:
28. Other traits, especially those to be brought out in story:
29. Ambitions:
30. Philosophy of life:
31. Most important thing to know about this character:

Will readers like or dislike this character, and why? Readers will like him because... who can'tlike Tom?? 

Writing Character Profiles - Questionnaire 1 (Adult Characters)

1. Name: Blake
2. Age: which ever for the game
3. General physical description: Silver hair with red bang, red eyes. When he's transformed, he his hair grows down along his back all along a tail that has just a bit of longer hair at the end. He has stripes that are a shade lighter than his regular skin color running all along his body. He has claws and his eyes turn to have cat slits.
4. Hometown: Forest
5. Type of home/ neighborhood: Forest
6. Relationship status: Mated with Lilian.
7. Current family: Emakai males leave their families.
8. Family background (parents, previous marriages, etc.):
9. Friends: Depends on the game
10. Other close relationships: None
11. Relationship with men: Other emakai males: attacks on sight.
12. Relationship with women: If they aren't his mate he doesn't care.
13. Job: Ninja
14. Dress style:Whatever cloths he finds off his victims.
15. Religion: None
16. Attitude to religion: Generally doesn't think about things like that
17. Favorite pastimes: Hunting, playing in the river, hanging out with human friends.
18. Hobbies:
19. Favorite sports: None
20. Favorite foods: Vampires
21. Strongest positive personality trait: Monogamous
22. Strongest negative personality trait: Jerkwad
23. Sense of humor: Dark
24. Temper: Uncontrolled
25. Consideration for others: None existent.
26. How other people see him/her: Mean, violent, courageous, loving (toward Lilian). 
27. Opinion of him/herself: He thinks he's the shit.
28. Other traits, especially those to be brought out in story:
29. Ambitions: Help save the species
30. Philosophy of life: Kill or be killed.
31. Most important thing to know about this character:
32. Will readers like or dislike this character, and why? Some readers will, others won't. He is selfish and mean but usually ends up doing the right thing in the end.

There's a problem with the 12 step lazy thing...

I haven't gotten around to it yet....