wtf story

Once upon the rock, the naked man fired shots of vodka into the air. His penis happened to be a snake, of who's mouth the vodka had landed. Once his hell-penis was drunk enough, the man back flipped down off the rock and began his reign of terror over all of the forest creatures.

This story, apparently being news-worthy, hit the TVs before dawn, and soon all the world knew of the collapse of reality. Many, of course, believed the whole thing to be a hoax. However many a hobo danced and sang through the streets, having known that the end was near. Soon the city became a giant hobo spring break party, and many saggy, dirt covered boobs were flashed to... well, nobody wanted to get that on camera.

The police tried to disband the party with tear gas, but hobos were tough people and could handle it. That's when the snake penis man came and bit every one of those officers on the left hand with his still heavily intoxicated penis. Immediately the cops became as drunk as the snake and started partying with the hobos. It wasn't until the men sobered up that they realized that their penises had been turned into all kinds of cuddly animals. Like lizards, hawks, monkeys, and elephants.

All of the women's cops breasts became as saggy and dirty as the hobo women they had tried to gas, and then nobody won.

Finally the military was called in to quarantine the city of which this bizarre phenomenon was taking place. However, as soon as the order was given all of the soldiers turned to zombies. Then needing to be quarantined themselves, there was nobody to quarantine the city and the infection spread to other parts of the world.

Humans started giving birth to dogs, dogs started giving birth to humans. Neither one liked this arrangement, so they tried to trade babies but the babies didn't like it so they rose up in adorable rebellion and killed their respective mothers.

Soon topless hobo women, men with animal penises, zombie soldiers, and babies (including puppies) paraded through the streets.

However, it wasn't long before all of this tomfoolery was disrupted by the Earth collapsing.
The End.