Job

I avoided going to Idaho with a smoker today. I am a little sad because now I am stuck at the house, but hopefully this other job works out and I can move out. Yes, the prospect of moving out is within my grasp. I am excited. I really hope I can make some money!

Oh well, until I get a life, I still have a second one to keep me entertained.

I don't know what to do.

There may be a job for me in Mead, Kansas. Away from everyone and everything I've ever known. The things aren't that important, I like change. But an image pops into my head every time I think about it.... Megan's parties. I have only been to a few, I can't go to many it seems because this salesmen job is keeping me out of town every weekend. There is drinking, hookah, and lots of interesting people to talk to. I first went to her party on new years, where I didn't drink. But I sure met some cool people.

And most importantly, Megan is my life long friend. I've known her for longer than some of my family members. She and I are determined to always keep in touch. However, being so far away would be hard. I was just getting excited about going to these parties, having a drink or a puff, and getting to know these interesting people.

But really... should I pass up a job opportunity for parties? Well, I'm 21. I'm right at the party age (not that I'm much of a party hard girl). No matter what I do, I feel like I'm missing something important. I tried to ask myself which I'd remember more years from now... moving out or partying with good friends. Really, I can't decide. Obviously the job thing sounds like the better option. But I'm not worried about missing out of drinking, or being cool or whatever they portray in those teen movies that people think people worry about (maybe they do?). I don't know... I want to be social and not look back and see nothing cool or fun about my young adult years. I also don't want to see walmart and parties all the time. I want both. I want to good job and I want to see Megan and get to know those interesting people. Maybe something will happen that will clear all of this up soon. But right now, Idaho, ho!

Crazy

It's amazing.

All I did was decide that I wanted life to be different. After graduating Job Corps, I didn't want to go back to the basement. I wanted to travel, and I wanted a job that wasn't retail or food. ANYTHING pretty much but retail or food. So, thanks to my brother, I got a job with a traveling portrait company. And although I am not happy with the company (at first I loved the company, everyone seemed so nice and they talked a lot about self improvement stuff... then I realized that as a contracted employee, it is illegal for them to be taking %50 of my commission (which is my only pay) but they do because they consider us "part of the company" but apparently not part of it enough for benefits) it is a HELL of a lot better than walmart or taco bell, two places, and places similar, which I REFUSE to be apart of, unless in cases of desperation. But, here I am in a little horror movie town in Kansas with a lady, who I drove there with in my new car.

When I was little, I was determined that my first car would be red. Funny thing is, I got this car because the neighbors happened to be selling it and mom and daddy happened to decide to buy it for me. It wasn't until later that Megan reminded me that I had always said that my first car would be red. Coincidence? Maybe... but there seem to be a lot of coincidences like that in my life. As a kid, I wanted to move to the country to get real horses, but not so far that I wouldn't be able to see my friends. I wanted my room walls painted, I wanted posters, I wanted a skateboard, I wanted a family car that had sliding doors and a dvd player... and later on in life I wanted military school that could somehow get me a high school diploma, and simultaneously wanted to get out of the house, at least for a while. Now, with the descriptions of the latest desired happenings above, I will tell you that every last one of these things have come true. Maybe I wanted a lot of other things that have not come true, and I just don't remember them because I didn't get them. I'm sure that has happened, but considering just some of the things that HAVE happened, I am thinking of coming to the conclusion that something strange is going on. I don't know if it's God, the law of attraction, or something else. But I am really thinking that it is, in fact, something.