Use a Journal For Self-Discovery and Self-Expression 1

By Garrett Coan – 
 
As a therapist, I often suggest to clients that they explore their feelings and thoughts by keeping a journal. Sometimes clients ask for a bit of direction with this process. Here are some journaling ideas if you’re not sure where to start:

1. Write down what happened today and how you felt about it.

Well, today I discovered that a company I was looking into is also a 1099 position. You pay $20 for leads and that gets you sales or something. I decided I wasn't comfortable with that. I posted about it on help.com but nobody wanted to help, so I was on my own with the decision.

http://www.help.com/post/590804-should-i-just-be-thankful-ross-hire#myLast

I got a job at Ross, and I'm not happy about it. 40 minuet drive to make minimum wage in retail. The only way it gets lower is fast food. I am one step above fast food! How pathetic is that, seriously? I spent 16 months of my life in Job Corps to end up in EXACTLY the same place I started from! I QUIT a retail job to go to Job Corps and where did it get me? Right back to square one. Thanks for nothing, Collbran!

Hi! I'm Tobi. Here are some...

Helpful Resources:

If You Need a Job:

http://www.care.com http://www.craigslist.com http://meyerweb.com/other/humor/interview.html http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2TACss/lifehacker.com/5157794/top-10-tools-for-landing-a-better-job http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2XDqwz/paperpenalia.com/handwriting.html (this one is to help improve hand writing. Something that can help decide if you get hired or not) "He's so lazy that if there were work in bed, he would rather sleep on the floor." - Paddy O'Dea

If You Hate how Shouts are Public:

https://privnote.com/

College Stuff:

http://www.collegeconfidential.com/

Sleep Trouble:

http://www.well.com/~mick/insomnia/

If You Need to save Money:

http://www.half.com http://amazingfreebiesdelight.yolasite.com/

If You Need a Laugh:

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/4T3J2f/iusedtobelieve.com/ http://www.slightlywarped.com/crapfactory/curiosities/2010/price_tag_fails.htm http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/253wzW/theoatmeal.com/comics/cat_vs_internet http://www.c4vct.com/kym/humor/analog.htm "I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three." --Elayne Boosler

Cute Animals:

http://thedesigninspiration.com/articles/70-cutie-baby-animals-bring-your-a -good-mood/ http://www.desicolours.com/have-you-ever-been-so-tired/14/06/2009 http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2URL2l/operachic.typepad.com/opera_chic/2009/07/mousie-mousie-mousie.html http://www.thingsthatmakeyougoaahh.com/images/224-p4wq.jpg (BABY PANDAS!!) http://www.cuteoverload.com/

Dating and Relationships:

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1SAbx2/9gag.com/gag/3619/ http://www.internetdatingstories.com/ http://www.createblog.com/forums/lofiversion/index.php/t83863.html (for those interested in men) http://www.miacarmel.com/tips-about-relationships/75-lessons-that-must-be-learned-in-relation-2.html http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/AfBXJy/dating.suite101.com/article.cfm/unique_conversation_starters%253Fsms_ss%253Dstumbleupon "Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!" -Homer Simpson

Beauty:

http://www.christinaloves.com/2008/09/13/50-uses-for-vaseline/ http://www.blincinc.com/landing/15things.php

If You Need Inspiration:

http://www.worldofinspiration.com/ http://www.eightprinciples.com/ http://treasuretext.tumblr.com/post/2859447815/i-am-thankful "Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

Helpful Life Tool Thingys:

http://www.43things.com (look up Tobi Uchiha) http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2vP065/www.futureme.org/

Life Advice:

http://www.raptitude.com http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifehack/10-simple-ways-to-save-yourself-from-messing-up-your-life.html/comment-page-5 http://www.bluinc.com/free/human10.htm http://www.32keys.com/ "I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." --Lily Tomlin

Education and School:

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/30zbgn/rinkworks.com/bookaminute/classics.

If You're Bored:

http://www.stumbleupon.com http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2mMRd1/svt.se/hogafflahage/hogafflaHage_site/Kor/hestekor.swf http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2AfR5E/atom.smasher.org/error/ http://www.pagetutor.com/idiot/idiot.html http://www.omegle.com/ http://erkie.github.com/ http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/8l7krX/whathappenedinmybirthyear.com/ http://www.shockwave.com/content/shuffle/sis/shuffle.swf "I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, 'Whoa, I'm way too high!' " --Bruce Baum

Spiritual:

http://www.mysteryplay.org/ http://www.godspeaks.com/intro.asp http://www.meant4more.com/ http://www.iamsecond.com/ "Constantly choosing the lesser of two evils is still choosing evil." - Jerry Garcia

If You Need to Recover:

http://www.celebraterecovery.com.au/8principles.php

If You want to Chat with Fellow Help.comers:

http://tinychat/oldhelpchat http://www.jalexinteractive.com/phpfreechat-1.3/index.php

If You're Tired of Email Spam:

http://www.hidemyass.com/anonymous-email/ http://www.guerrillamail.com/ "Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second." --Steven Wright

Cool:

http://fsymbols.com/

If You want to be Smarter:

http://www.cracked.com (Now I know how this site looks, but looks can be deceiving trust me it's ligit, lolz) http://www.mindtools.com/memory.html "Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?" --John Mendoza

Health Advice:

http://www.cholesterol-and-health.com/ http://www.whfoods.com/foodstoc.php http://www.findingbalance.com/ "The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not." - Mark Twain

Misc (but awesome):

http://www.treasuretext.tumblr.com http://www.funzug.com/index.php/fashion-trends/most-beautiful-henna-colours.html http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1QozrH/www.mnn.com/lifestyle/pets-animals/stories/bizarre-sea-slug-is-half-plant-half-animal-0

Important blurb from...

http://www.raptitude.com on this here page http://www.raptitude.com/2011/03/your-questions-answered/

Growing up I remember the saying: happiness is having someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to. Do you agree with this?

No. /ps the conventional approach and I think /ps a recipe for a life of suffering. /ps nothing wrong with those things, and they feel good, but hanging your happiness on them encourages a lifelong preoccupation with reaching and keeping certain ideal circumstances. Eventually your loved one dies or leaves. Eventually you age and cannot do what you once did. Your thing to look forward to might not be what you expected or might never happen.ThereitThat

So that strategy pt sound too wise. But ps pretty close to the normal way people approach life. I think we can do better than that.itdoesn

I have all three of those things all the time whether pm happy or not. Happiness, to me, is being in the present moment without being preoccupied by a craving for some part of that moment to be different. ps all it is. The circumstances pt have to be any particular way if I am able to accept them in real-time without getting wrapped up in how pd like them to be. To be a happy person is to get good at that.IdonThatI

Let's get this party started!

1. We admitted we were powerless over laziness - that our lives had become unmanageable

I am powerless over laziness, my life has become unmanagable.

All right, I did it. So how long am I suppose to stay on step one before moving on to step two? ....hm, well we'll let it stew for a few days and then move on.

Creative Writing Now (.com) Character Challenge

Writing Character Profiles - Questionnaire 1 (Adult Characters)

1. Name:Tom Kat
2. Age: 21
3. General physical description: Orange tabby neko with athletic body type. He is cute and has big, gold cat eyes. He generally wears ripped, washed out jeans, a wife beater and an open button, red plaid shirt.
4. Hometown: New York
5. Type of home/ neighborhood: Apartment
6. Relationship status: In a relationship with Kitten
7. Current family: A mom, dad, and little sister.
8. Family background (parents, previous marriages, etc.):
9. Friends: Depends on the game
10. Other close relationships:
11. Relationship with men: They are his bros
12. Relationship with women: Respectful
13. Job: Ninja
14. Dress style: Lazy, but cute
15. Religion: None
16. Attitude to religion: Generally doesn't think about things like that
17. Favorite pastimes: Catnip, training, and ...........
18. Hobbies:
19. Favorite sports: Agility
20. Favorite foods: Tuna, salmon, fish tacos and chicken pizza.
21. Strongest positive personality trait: Innocent
22. Strongest negative personality trait: Druggy
23. Sense of humor: Very much so
24. Temper: Fun loving
25. Consideration for others: a lot
26. How other people see him/her: Kind of stupid probably, optimistic, annoying, adorable, noble.
27. Opinion of him/herself:
28. Other traits, especially those to be brought out in story:
29. Ambitions:
30. Philosophy of life:
31. Most important thing to know about this character:

Will readers like or dislike this character, and why? Readers will like him because... who can'tlike Tom?? 

Writing Character Profiles - Questionnaire 1 (Adult Characters)

1. Name: Blake
2. Age: which ever for the game
3. General physical description: Silver hair with red bang, red eyes. When he's transformed, he his hair grows down along his back all along a tail that has just a bit of longer hair at the end. He has stripes that are a shade lighter than his regular skin color running all along his body. He has claws and his eyes turn to have cat slits.
4. Hometown: Forest
5. Type of home/ neighborhood: Forest
6. Relationship status: Mated with Lilian.
7. Current family: Emakai males leave their families.
8. Family background (parents, previous marriages, etc.):
9. Friends: Depends on the game
10. Other close relationships: None
11. Relationship with men: Other emakai males: attacks on sight.
12. Relationship with women: If they aren't his mate he doesn't care.
13. Job: Ninja
14. Dress style:Whatever cloths he finds off his victims.
15. Religion: None
16. Attitude to religion: Generally doesn't think about things like that
17. Favorite pastimes: Hunting, playing in the river, hanging out with human friends.
18. Hobbies:
19. Favorite sports: None
20. Favorite foods: Vampires
21. Strongest positive personality trait: Monogamous
22. Strongest negative personality trait: Jerkwad
23. Sense of humor: Dark
24. Temper: Uncontrolled
25. Consideration for others: None existent.
26. How other people see him/her: Mean, violent, courageous, loving (toward Lilian). 
27. Opinion of him/herself: He thinks he's the shit.
28. Other traits, especially those to be brought out in story:
29. Ambitions: Help save the species
30. Philosophy of life: Kill or be killed.
31. Most important thing to know about this character:
32. Will readers like or dislike this character, and why? Some readers will, others won't. He is selfish and mean but usually ends up doing the right thing in the end.

There's a problem with the 12 step lazy thing...

I haven't gotten around to it yet....

Can laziness be overcome via 12 step program?

I am a very lazy person. A very, very lazy person. Right now I am feeling strong resistance to writing this blog, even starting it. I really just want to go back to bed even though it is almost noon. But I can't, because I have a job interview in the morning and I can't afford to not get sleep.

I've researched laziness a lot. As it turns out, some people are genetically predisposed to being lazy. They did studies on rats and all that, played around with their genetic code. They could turn active rats into couch potatoes, and vise versa. Well I figure that some people are more predisposed to alcoholism, but that doesn't mean that they have to become alcoholics. So why should genetically predisposed lazy people have to become lazy?

I am going to treat my laziness like an addiction. An addiction, by a definition that I'm stealing from a psychologist (source below), is something that:

You continue to do it even when it causes you problems with your health, relationships, job success or self esteem.

· You begin to organize your day or week around participating in your vice.

· Your addiction begins to narrow your experience of life.

· You develop a talent for magical thinking, storytelling and excuses.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4127899

Doesn't that sound EXACTLY like the kind of behaviors and consequences lazy people face? That article is actually about laziness being an addiction, and I think the author hits the nail on the head- which is why I've decided to try and tackle this problem the way you would an addiction. Because honestly, I have done things like buying new cloths instead of doing laundry, laying in bed until well into the afternoon after waking up, eat nothing but frozen, canned and bagged food, let my $400 guitar dry out, do half ass jobs on things, the list goes on. I'm not entirely sure why laziness exists, that'll be something I research for a future post. For now, let's look at what the 12-step program is:

1. We admitted we were powerless over laziness - that our lives had become unmanageable

2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to lazy asses, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

I replaced alcoholics with lazy asses, since we're not trying to over come alcohol here. So, I guess we start at step 1. I do believe that it is more complicated that simply getting off your ass and doing it, like so many claim. But honestly, I think that works about as well as an alcoholic simply not drinking. It's not that easy, and if this all goes well and I succeed I will very seriously consider starting a meet up group, assuming people will bother to show up, that is. Being lazy asses and all.

My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic: True Love Conqures all Species (pg)

It had been a couple of years since the adventures began with Twilight, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Rarity. Of course, we can't forget little Spike. The baby dragon who assists Twilight with her studies of magic. By now, he was beginning to outgrow the library tree in which they both lived. And with maturity, came the beginning of a realization for him. A realization that  hurt him more than anything.

Ever since he was small, he could remember that day in Ponyville. That truly magical day... when he laid eyes on the most beautiful pony in all of Equestria. Sadly, however, inter-species relationships don't quite work out in the long run. As a little dragon, a young, ignorant, blissful thing, he dreamed of the day he would be able to tell her, and then they would be happy. Of course, Rarity always knew of his little crush, and brushed it off as nothing but him being a cute little boy.

But now, he was getting to be a grown dragon. And the "cute little crush" was crushing him, under the weight of reality. Dragons and ponies do not, cannot, go together. But if that were true, he wondered one chilly night, sitting under thin clouds that let a little moonlight through. how could they even fall in love?

Well, she didn't love him. That he had kind of known from the beginning... but honestly, why could two completely different species fall in love if they can't be together? What sort of gainful mecinisem was this to mother nature? Maybe... this wasn't about nature, who was only ever interested advantages. Maybe this was magic... but what sort of crule spirit would do this to someone? What benefit could it possibly bring them? And if this wasn't some sort of spell, well... it had to be, right? Because all magic has to have a wielder. So obviously this was something that had to have been done deliberately...

~What does it matter...~ Spike thought depressidly. ~What's done is done, and I'm stuck with it~ the dragon lost all hope of ever recovering. If it hadn't worn off by now, it never would. In fact, it had gotten stronger. Maybe it would help if she could find a stallion, that way he could know that she didn't have to be alone. But her shrill, finicky personality and superficial attitude made that rather difficult.

He sighed. Yes, he didn't have any special idealistic fantasies about who she was. He knew the extent of her imperfection. But hay, as a creature of greed and fire, none of that made an honest to gawd difference. He loved her more than anything, and it was quickly becoming clear that that would never change.

Never change... the thought scared him. Was he really to live his whole life with this torture? Going to bed with a freshly wounded heart night after night? The thought of a stallion flashed through his mind again. He winced... thinking of her with someone else. The young dragon was so confused. He wanted her to be happy, and he would be happy if she finally found someone. But at the same time, that thought was extremely painful. Painful and wonderful at the same time... well, no one ever said love was easy.

Morning came, but the thoughts of last night were still fresh in Spike's mind. He decided to fly to the Everfree Forrest. Maybe Zecora would be able to explain why someone would put such a cruel spell on him. Twilight was always so busy, he didn't want to bother her. He stood almost as tall as the tree when he stood up. He stretched his wings and gave a big yawn. There were bags under his eyes, the nights had not been good to him for quite some time now.

With a mighty flap or two, he picked himself up off the ground and headed out. Twilight wouldn't be worried, it's not like he could help her much anymore anyway, she had Owlwishes, it would be fine.

It wasn't long before the big purple dragon reached the zebra's home. He hoped she wasn't still asleep. He gently knocked on the door with one claw, trying not to scratch it. "Coming!" he heard just before the door opened. "Ah! The great dragon of purple, would you care for some tea that is herbal?" she asked, holding up a steaming cup.

"Actually, Zecora... I came here to ask you a question. I hope it isn't a bad time..."

"Of course not a bad time, now tell me what is on your mind." She sipped her tea

"Well, a long time ago someone put a curse on me. A... a love curse. See, it has to be a magic because there's no way a dragon would naturally fall in love with a pony..." His eyes were on the ground, this isn't something he could easily talk about.

Zecora frowned "Oh, little one. I see the position to which you have come. But listen to my verse, these feelings you have are not a curse. I know how you feel, so help you I will!" She put her cup down and went into her house. Spike looked up curiously, he felt a small ping of hope.

After a few minuets, she came back out with a big bowl full of a bubbling blue liquid. It smelled kind of like... wet hair... ew. His nose wrinkled.

"I know it does not smell tasty." Said Zecora, setting the bowl in front of him "and I assure you it does not taste like any pastry. But if you drink this gallon, you will be transformed into a handsome stallion!"

His eyes widened. "What? A stallion? You mean I'll be a-a pony??"

She nodded and smiled. Spike picked up the bowl but was hesitant. "Can you ever turn me back?" He asked tentatively.

"I am not the one who can turn this around, you are the only one who can make the transformation sound."

"What..." He started to ask before she continued on

"You will become dragon again at the stroke of 12, unless into a romance you do delve. It is very cliché, I know. But it is the only way for your pony side to show."  Zecora had a serious look on her face. This was exactly the Cinderella thing again... a kiss by midnight and he would be a pony forever. He decided that, even if he didn't become a pony forever, this was too big of an opportunity to miss out on. So he picked up the bowl and drank the potion quickly, his face twisting with disgust at the taste. However, he didn't have to worry about that for long with the bazaar feeling taking over every inch of his body. He shrieked in fear as he felt his fingers melt back into his hand, his tail, too, seemed to be receding into his body, his flesh melting together into a new mold. He felt his facial bones flatten and stretch. His teeth and gums rearranged themselves. It seemed too, that the entire world was being affected by the potion. Everything was growing taller.

...

Everything was blurry when he opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was the inside of Zecora's house. ~How on earth did I fit in here?~ he wondered for a moment. Then he felt his new body, felt it by being in it. He was a completely different shape. The memory of a few hours ago came to him suddenly and he woke up in an instant. Was he a horse now?? Indeed he was. Purple fur and wings, green hair and eyes, a dragon's tooth cutie mark, and hooves tan like his belly and claws had been. He looked down at what used to be hands now transformed into feet. his stomach churned and he felt like he was going to be sick. The room started spinning and he could not find the strength to try and stand up. This body was so foreign... how did it even move?

Through the morning, Zecora would help him get oriented in this new physical state. the process wasn't easy, but with a little practice, he should be ready to walk into Ponyville with confidence. Fang, as he decided to call himself, started to feel hopeful for the first time in years

That afternoon, Zecora waved him off as he galloped toward Ponyville. Having completely mastered his new body, he was confident that he would pass for a natural born pony. He slid to a stop when he came to the town. No one paid much attention at the excited new stranger as they went about their pony business. Except for one pony... who paused, screamed, and bounced in circles around him.

"YEEEE! A new pony!!!!! Welcome welcome WELCOME!!!!"

"Pinkie Pie??" 'Fang' said by mistake, she stopped in her tracks. Her eyes huge with surprise.

"You know my NAME!?"

He panicked, realizing the slip up. "Uhhh!!! Another pony randomly told me!"

She stared at him, great. Now he was cought.

"....OK!!!" She continued to bounce, completely buying the story. "I have to throw a PARTY for you!! A WELCOME party!!! AAAAGHHHHEEEEKSAGFHJKASHFDKJ!!!!!!!" She dashed off. Spike chuckled.

He trotted happily through the town. It was so different being a pony! He saw Rainbow dash zoom up above. For a second he wanted to race, but then remembered that he had had very little practice with his horse wings, which were vastly different from dragon wings. He stretched out his tiny -well, compared to what he had before they were tiny- wings and looked them over. Green feathers outlined the rims. Gosh, they were sure beautiful. He tucked them back in and looked to his side and caught his reflection on a mirror attached to an outdoor kiosk. He held his head high, indeed, Rarity would not be able to resist his rugged good looks! Oh yeah... Rarity! In all the excitement, he had forgotten why this had all come to be in the first place!! He reared up high and galloped off.

He stopped in front of her store and paused. A fear swelled up in him, it was something he had never felt before. His knees locked. He could not go any further. What if she didn't like him? Then what? ~Well Spike-I mean, Fang, if she doesn't like you, at least you can live your life knowing you tried.~ He thought to himself before slowly going forward. He took a deep breath to relax, then walked in the door. The little bell rang.

"Welcome to my boutique! I believe you'll find all of our items are sheek, unique, and magifque!" There she was. The most beautiful pony in all of Ponyville. He couldn't say anything. "Oh! I've never seen you around before. Are you new to Ponyville?" She gracefully approached him. For the first time since childhood, a good feeling overcame him. Like, this was really possible.

"Oh... uhhhai, yes! I just came into town today in fact." He tried to act cool.

"Oh! Well! Welcome to Ponyville. I-...." She paused for a moment and looked him over. "Pardon me, but have we met before? I swear you seem so familiar..."

"Uh! No! No we have not! I've never been here before! Or Canterlot! Or anywhere!" He said in panic.

"Never been anywhere..?" She looked confused.

"Um, that is, what I meant was.... uhhhh.." ~Uh oh, I have a name but I forgot a background story!~ He swallowed then cleared his throat, trying to compose himself. "What I meant is that my whole life until now I've lived on a rock farm." Immediately he regretted saying that. No way would Rarity go for some rock farm pony!

"Oh, just like my friend Pinkie Pie. No doubt you met her already."

"Oh, haha yes I did."

"Anyway! Our men's selection is over this way if you'll just follow me..." She turned and led him to the left of the store. "Well, I'll leave you to shop now. Let me know if you need anything else!"

"Wait! Uh, I mean... maybe you have some recommendations?"

"Oh, Hm. Well, what's the occasion?"

"Uhhhm, well... I was planning to attend the Galloping Galla tonight."

She winced. "Eh! OK, but just to warn you, it's the worst party you will ever attend. I remember that RUDE prince! And no one else had much of a better time either. Ak. Sigh, we should have all just listened to Spike. Oh, he's a baby dragon. Well, he WAS a baby dragon! He wanted for us to just spend the evening together."

He smiled. It made him so happy to hear her talk about him. "He sounds like a really cool guy."

"Spikey Wikey? Why yes, he is a sweet dragon. Very different from other dragons. Anyway, if you plan to attend the Galla I have some very handsome suits that I think would flatter you very well." She began looking through the rack. But he hadn't really come here to shop for cloths. Actually, he didn't even have any money....

"My name is Fang."

She looked up at him from the cloths. "I'm Rarity, a pleasure." She picked out a suit. Try this one! It's outlined with little gems.

Mmmm... gems.... just then he turned to see a huge one sewn onto a garment on the rack. It looked so... delicious... he opened his mouth to take a bite but nearly cracked his teeth. "Owch!" He stood there, confused for a moment before realizing that ponies don't eat gems!

"Uhhm, what are you doing..?"

"Oh... uh! Sorry, I just... like this one!"

"Oh, that one is a bit more flashy. Well! Try on whatever you like." She handed him what she had picked out then began to walk away, assuming her customers didn't want to be smothered. He put the suits down and followed her.

"Uhh... actually, I didn't come here to shop."

She stopped and turned "Um, then what did you come here for?" she had a look of concern on her face. Of course, some strange guy just walks into her store/house and tells her it's not to shop. A feeling of dread came over him as he realized how creepy that must seem. Maybe his chances were ruined now...

What could he tell her? That he saw her outside of Ponyville one day, and that he had to find her at all costs? That wasn't stockerish at all. Man, what a bind...

"I, uh... well I'm afraid I just came here to look. I don't have any money you see." He looked down, wishing he had come up with a plan before charging in.

"Oh, well, feel free to look around all you like." She turned again to walk away.

No! This was a disaster. He was no closer to winning her over then he was as a dragon! "Of course, thank you." He said sadly, then turned back and sat in front of the cloths. He pretended to be interested in what was there while he tried to think of a solution. I suppose they didn't have to attend an event like Cinderella did... but how on earth could he get her to kiss him by TONIGHT? She had very high standards, and that was just simply moving too fast. He sighed, got up and walked out quietly enough so that she wouldn't hear him.

Spike sat by a pond, looking down at his reflection. But it wasn't him staring back, it was some pony. He sighed, this was probably the most depressing day of his life. Even more depressing then the day he realized they couldn't be together. Because this time was the same thing, only he had had renewed hope, and lost it.

He got up and started walking in a random direction. It didn't matter where he went, because the pain would stay with him always.

It only seemed like a minute had gone by when Spike realized that the sun was setting and he had been walking for hours. He must be MILES away by now! Oh well, after he turned back into a dragon flying back wouldn't take too long. Upon looking around, it was apparent that he had ended up in some kind of swamp forest. He sat there for a second, taking in no feelings or impressions of his surroundings. They didn't matter, all he could feel was pain. In a few hours he would be a dragon forever again, and all chance with Rarity would be lost...

Just when he was about to go back into a thoughtful state of depression, a very loud voice caught his attention.

"Hey! A little pegasus pony! You look sad! What's wrong little fella?"

In front of him was what looked like an ordinary donkey. He had a very anticipating expression of his face. "Oh, you wouldn't understand..."

"Why not?"

"Because... well, you're not going to believe me."

"Wha-!? Not believe you??" He said in his fast talking manner "Kid, if I TOLD you all the things I seen, YOU wouldn't believe ME. So lay it to me! Say it to me! Lean on me!!! And I'll be your friend!!!" He began singing. In a panic, Spike started telling his story to shut him up.

"All RIGHT! See... I'm not really a pony, I'm a dragon. But I drank this potion in hopes that me and this other pony could be together."

The donkey gasped. "You're a DRAGON? And you've fallen in love with a PONY?"

He hung his head "Yeah... I know it's stupid-"

"STUPID?" Interrupted the donkey, now getting very excited. "Boy let me tell you something, I'm a donkey, k? And I'm MARRIED to a dragon! Her name is Dragon. And I'm Donkey. And we have little mutant BABIES!"

"What!?" Spike wasn't sure he heard this right, or maybe he was hallucinating...

"Yeah! Watch!" Donkey whistled, and after a second little creatures appeared and were flying very quickly toward him. He stretched out his arms. "Come to DADDY!" They knocked him over and began licking him. They truly were.... half dragon... half donkey... some magenta scales... some brown furr... Spike couldn't help but stare, even though he was usually more mannered. Was this even happening? This potion must have really done a number on him...

After Donkey was finally able to get up, he walked back over to Spike. "I'm guessing this pony girl would never consider the real you, because you're 10 times her size and the whole different species thing?"

He nodded

"Hm, well how about you and I go on over there and she can meet the kids! Then she'll see how CUTE they are and not be so uncomfortable!" He grinned, proud of his ingenious idea.

"I-I don't know..."

"Look, you don't have to tell her you love her right then and there. Just... to get the ball rolling, you know, something she can have for future reference! Because honestly, you can't be happy with ANYONE unless you be yourself. And a dragon is not a pony! But you gotta have FRIIIENDDS!"

"OK! That sounds like a plan, but, can it wait for tomorrow? I don’t' want her to know I tried a stunt like this..."

"Lemme guess, kiss by midnight spell?"

"Yeah.." He was a little embarrassed at the cliché of it all.

"That one's a classic! OK, how about you come home with me and we can discuss it with the Misses?"

"All right, that sounds pretty good."

At midnight Spike forever turned back into a dragon. He was amazed at how different it felt. But this time it was a really good different, it was natural and right.

The next day, Spike, Donkey, Dragon, and the kids went into town. It wasn't long before they saw Rarity walking down the street. Spike's eyes lit up.

"Rarity! Hay Rarity! I have some friends I want you to meet!" He said excitedly.

She looked up "Spike! Oh really?" She turned and walked over to them.

"Yep! This is Donkey, Dragon, and the kids." The little mutants were swarming around their mom at the moment.

"Oh! Why hello there, uhm, are those... donkey dragons?" She looked a little weirded out, but was trying to be polite.

"Why yes they are! Aren't they CUTE!?" Donkey said excitedly.

"Oh, why yes they are! I didn't think erm, well-I didn't.."

"You didn't think donkeys and dragons could reproduce? Well, they can! Isn't it GREAT!?"

"Oh, why yes I suppose it is"

Dragon roared impatiently. "Oh, well I guess it's time to go. Nice meetin you all! Bye!!" He hopped on his wife and they were off, leaving the two alone.

"I swear this world never runs out of surprises." Rarity turned to continue on. "Well, I best finish my shopping, see you later Spike! Nice meeting your friends."

"Wait! Uh, you mind if I tag along? I can carry your bags!"

"Oh, what a sweet little dragon! Well, not so little anymore. Sure! Come on then, first stop, carrots!"

"All right!" He followed her happily, and they shopped together.

The End.

Blingee!!

I forgot how fun this was. I wish I could find my old ones, they were really good. For now, this is all I've come up with.



spring time pictures

My boys

I have several role play characters and I just love them!! I'll have to do drawings, but for now, just names.

Yuki Cortez - Asian emo kid, been just about everything under the sun. From a demon, to a neko, to a hero, and a villain. Sometimes he has blue eyes, very sexy. Sometimes he's half mexican ("cortez" is a mexican last name) and sometimes he's adopted from China. But most of the time he's Japanese.

Kisame Hoshikage Jr. - born out of random role play about the Akatsuki all having kids. Became one of my all time favorites.

Tom Kat - came from an Inuyasha themed role play, he is a very 'stray cat strut' kind of guy with a sweet disposition and very much a comedy character.

Blake - My 'famous' imaginary creature the emakai. Vampire eating, rude, mean, tough, loveable. Sometimes he goes from evil to good, sometimes from good to evil.

Let's do another Favorites

Yesterday, I looked back on some old posts and noticed that a favorites article I did awhile ago and noticed that none of them had changed. So, I'll do some more favorite things of mine and see how long it takes them to change lolz.

1. Authors

Now I haven't read a lot of books this past year and a half simply because good ones aren't all that accessible at Job Corps. But I do very much enjoy blogs (even though I couldn't read them at Job Corps =P)

David - www.raptitude.com

Mr. Money Mustache - www.mrmoneymustache.com

John Cheese - www.cracked.com

2. Past Time

Walking and listening to music.

3. Alcohol

Budweiser

4. Cartoon

My Little Pony

5. Anime

Fruits Basket

6. Manga

Naruto

Asperations:

 We can do more than favorites, let's see how goals will change over time. This could be a good experiment that can teach about how to plan for the future.

Career: A: Geologist/Paleontologist B: Environmental Engineer C: Ultrasound Technician.

Misc: Retire in my 30s via Mustachian life style. Become mindful.   

Meh

I don't know what to type about. I'm just bored. Still reading Mr. Money Mustache, wishing I could start on it already- but without a job that is not going to happen. I want to ask MMM a question... what to do if you have an expensive hobby. Mine is anime, and I suppose you can turn it into a profit or at least lower the cost by making your own stuff, but that is not profitable unless you are good at it- I mean, professional grade. I am nowhere near that level of sewing skill. Nor do I have the patience or desire to become good at sewing. I just like the dressing up and the good times with other people and the culture in general, very good bunch of people, anime junkies are.

You see my problem is, there is no way I could make every piece of every costume I would want to wear. Edward Elric's arm isn't something that can be made by just anybody. And namely, right now, I want these:

 

Aren't they beautiful? I could be an MLP or just a regular unicorn, whatever. It would be amazing!! But, they are $440 on Etsy, not something you just buy, especially something you won't even get to wear that often. 

So, what I've done is downloaded a (free) dress pattern. It is a vintage style poofy skirt sundress, something that I think will work very well for Fluttershy. And I've resolved that if I can make that myself, I can then buy the needed accessories! I don't know if I will get these boots... they considered extreme footwear and as such are pretty dangerous... I just know I will fall in them. Unless I'm really really careful and don't mind being slower than a depressed snail, I'll be fine. 

In my mind, I like to imagine what it would be like to cosplay professionally- though I'm not sure there's such a thing, unless you're the one actually making the costumes. I would be known as a professional cosplayer/fur enthusiast. But I wouldn't be in those big creepy toon suits- oh no, I would be elegant and beautiful, sort of like that MLP cosplay I have in mind with those boots. Only other animals, as well. Resembling something more similar to Second Life than a typical furry. Though, for most furries it is actually a sexual fettish. Though I do enjoy a good role play, sexual or not, I can't say I share their interest in that way. I just being able to be something besides what I am, if that makes sense. 

Day...uhhh....

A picture of me in Meade, Kansas with the motel owner's cat who came to visit our room.

I've been sitting at home for, probably over a week now. I'd really like for that guy offering me a job to have a spare moment. I'm sure he will soon, he does need a new assistant eventually after all. I suppose I shouldn't be impatient, most people with my age and talents (or lack there of) get job offers this good. But since quitting my money-eating career as a commission only pre-sales consultant, I have had nothing to do. More money in the bank, but nothing to do. Honestly I'd rather spend my days of precious year 21 sitting in the basement then showing up for work to not get paid. At least sitting at home is my choice. Drive down to Colorado Springs every week and not get paid for it? No thanks, my time is a little bit more valuable than that.  

Anyway, I am tired of being at home and just want to move on to the next stage of things already. My time is a little bit too valuable to sit in the basement, my choice or not (and thank goodness it is a choice!!), but I have nothing to do. Barely any friends at all, actually, I have 1 (that I can actually see). And I am eternally grateful to have her (Naruto hating or not... though the fact that she does voictrously hate Naruto is a little bit soul crushing every time I hear it....). But more people would be nice. Where do you find people if you don't go to school? Craigslist? That's kind of pathetic and... dangerous and weird.

Anyway, I don't know how many days it's been since I haven't had a job. Luckily, it is not troublesome to not have a job still living at home. I just ate dinner for free and didn't even have to cook, but as lovely as that is I would like to get on with moving out and life in general. I think moving to Meade, Kansas would be a good thing. Something has always felt wrong with the consumer life style, but up until I found Mr. Money Mustache, a blogger who lives right here in Colorado, I thought that the only way to escape would be to live on an island. Turns out, you escape the system by using it differently than everyone else. Meade, Kansas is a tiny, flat town with giant roads perfect for never, ever using a car. I'm hoping there is a farmers market because the produce in the tiny little grocery store did not look or smell good... like, at all.... other than that, though, it is away from giant shopping malls and starbucks. As much as I love those things, they are not healthy for many different reasons and their addiction I wish to break. Because honestly, I have a lot of beautiful cloths now, I won't be needing any more for years to come.

Trying to figure out...

I'm trying to figure out how I can make myself realize when I only like something for monetary reasons. I got all excited about making money from a blog that I made a new one here on blogger, come to find out that you pretty much have to pay for hosting if you hope to make any sort of profit, and that it takes years to build. Well, I knew it would take several years... but the risk of it being unsuccessful is not worth what that would cost me over that time period.

But here's the thing...  I was going to make it about art projects done by a person with no real artistic talent (me) and I thought that will be fun and interesting! And it does sound fun and interesting... until I have to realize that it won't make me any money any time soon, and just like that, all motivation/desire gone. I couldn't tell that that was the only reason, I mean I knew it was a reason, but I thought I wanted the blog for the blog, too.

I even imagined having that blog without it making (or costing) any money and I couldn't tell that I didn't really want it. I thought that worked... scary, I've always made purchasing decisions based on imagining scenarios like that. I guess that doesn't work... looks like I'll have to use what I know about myself, and cold hard logic. We'll try it that way, see how things change. Either way, I really want to commit to this frugal lifestyle (presumably only because of the monetary gains and early retirement, if no such promises could be made, well, I don't think anybody would be frugal then!)

Actually, after just now looking back on an old post about a life scenario, I wanted an electric car for the monetary gains of not having to buy gas. Now that I have a different plan that I very much hope doesn't fade out (gulp, biking to close places) I no longer want that car at all, pretty as it may be. Nope, I think my little red car will get me plenty far for years to come, especially if that biking thing catches on. If it does, I get to buy a new $300 bike! It will be so much fun. And will be pocket change compared to how much I'll have saved in gas. 

Hmm... we should post a fun picture...

 

 Freakin' Epic.

Money, money, money...

I just found a blog that tells you how to retire at 30.

No gimmicks, though I have been known to trust in things rather quickly, lolz. David from Raptitude led me to it, so I'm going to say that this one is a safe bet.

This was part of a message I was going to send to Mr. Money Mustache. Yes, I already sent him a contact lolz. 

"My main concern is losing out on investments, but I'm hoping if I learn enough about them then I won't have to worry about it. I also don't want to live in low-income houses because of all the dangerous riff raff those areas attract. A scrawny girl riding in a place like that on her bike.... not a good combination lolz."

I left this part out because I didn't want to bog him down with little details. I decided to tell him that I still had lots of questions, but that I'm sure they would be answered if I just look around a bit.

So, I guess I'll see what happens. I hope I can get my spending habits under control!!

Here's one of my favorite bands singing about this very thing, lolz.